Do you remember Cheri, the Singaporean woman who got married to an Iranian man called Amir? I promised to tell you about how they got married and why it’s interesting in Iran.
The old history of Iran has incorporated different cultures with different customs practiced in different parts of the country. Although some of these customs have changed over the years, some families still prefer the good old ways for some occasions such as marriage.
In Persian marriages, mothers and sisters play a great role especially when a man wants to get married. When the son of a family reaches the age of marriage, his mother and sisters are responsible to find a suitable girl for him and organize the proposal meeting. When the boy’s mother finds the right girl she calls her mother and asks permission for proposal.
When the girl’s family accepts their request, the boy, his mother and sisters go to the girl’s house. The two families become more familiar with each other, talk about their customs and morals as well as the bride and the groom. After this session, the mother’s role appears again. The boy’s mother should call girl’s mother and ask their opinion; whether they accept the proposal or no. If they say yes, the girl and boy will get more familiar with each other. If no, this process will start again for another girl.
Of course fewer people follow this tradition these days. Boys and girls prefer to get familiar with each other first and then participate in the proposal session. But still the boy’s mother should call the girl’s family and set a proposal session.
Now imagine 20 years ago when Cheri fell in love with an Iranian boy, it was so surprising for an Iranian family to hear their son say “a Singaporean girl is in love with me and she has even proposed to me!”
Yes! Cheri proposed Amir and they got married without any of the Iranian traditions. As Cheri says, she came to Iran for the first time when they wanted to get more familiar with each other; to know more about her future husband’s family, country and culture. She was in Iran for 3 months and finally they got happily married.